Laws of Parenting

Motherhood is a different experience for every woman who goes through it.  It even changes each time you add a child to the family. Yet some things have remained constant these last few years:

If you were up for two hours in the middle of last night, your children will be up at least an hour earlier than necessary. 

If you need to get up and be somewhere early, you'll have to drag them out of bed kicking and screaming. 

If it can be blamed on a sibling, it will be. (Devin once tried to convince me that Tony had snuck up and pooped in his pants.)

Your children view  your time in the bathroom or on the phone as your personal declaration of boredom. And they will do their best to liven up your life.

It's not real family picture unless someone is crying, dirty, bruised or fighting. And the best pictures involve all four.

If above can't be managed, there's always the option of sharpie art on the face. It has to be the face to be special. 

Walls call to children like the Sistine chapel called to Michelangelo. 

Pizza spells I love you.

No matter how many pens disappear into the depths of your purse, when it comes time to sign a check you will be able to find two crayons and a chewed on sharpie. 

Those pens will reappear in the laundry. Probably with your favorite church sweater or your husband's new white shirt.

If there is mud available within a 40 yard radius, the children will find it.

The younger the child, the more of him will be covered in mud. Chuy came home today (yes. I know it's Sunday) covered in enough mud to adobe a small hut.